chouchoot: (Default)
from "street haunting: a london adventure," by virginia woolf:

But what could be more absurd? It is, in fact, on the stroke of six; it is a winter’s evening; we are walking to the Strand to buy a pencil. How, then, are we also on a balcony, wearing pearls in June? What could be more absurd? Yet it is nature’s folly, not ours. When she set about her chief masterpiece, the making of man, she should have thought of one thing only. Instead, turning her head, looking over her shoulder, into each one of us she let creep instincts and desires which are utterly at variance with his main being, so that we are streaked, variegated, all of a mixture; the colours have run. Is the true self this which stands on the pavement in January, or that which bends over the balcony in June? Am I here, or am I there? Or is the true self neither this nor that, neither here nor there, but something so varied and wandering that it is only when we give the rein to its wishes and let it take its way unimpeded that we are indeed ourselves? Circumstances compel unity; for convenience sake a man must be a whole. The good citizen when he opens his door in the evening must be banker, golfer, husband, father; not a nomad wandering the desert, a mystic staring at the sky, a debauchee in the slums of San Francisco, a soldier heading a revolution, a pariah howling with scepticism and solitude. When he opens his door, he must run his fingers through his hair and put his umbrella in the stand like the rest.
chouchoot: (proofread graffiti)
when i was volunteering at bitch magazine a couple years ago, one of the perks was access to the bitch bookshelf. mostly it contained books--often first printings or bound galleys--submitted by authors and agents, titles hoping for review in an issue. in my constant effort to read every book that i own (an uphill battle, as my collection continues to grow monthly), i finally picked up jill talbot's memoir, loaded: women and addiction.

though flawed, it was a well-written book, like the kind of piece you'd expect to read in a workshop from a writer you know is going to make it. her perspective, whether talking about her addictions or just describing her life, resonated with me; i underlined a lot of passages. amazon reviews criticize her use of "addiction" in the title, as talbot doesn't resolve her addiction (read: she still is drinking red wine with dinner, despite a stay in rehab). personally, i don't think abstinence is the only road to recovery.

--

"happiness, for adults, is as fleeting and surprising as a waiter dropping a tray in a restaurant. so, we create things to look forward to: the after-class cigarette, a drive to a remote place that feels like an escape, the glass of wine after dinner, the out-of-state trip to spend time with someone we trust. we live for the fleeting moment."

"[virginia] woolf articulates what i have always known, that only the unsettled want to go; only the dissatisfied look back to the past for answers."

--

[livejournal.com profile] albertamae, i'm mailing this book to you next week.
chouchoot: (b*tch & wine)
"in the New World it is assumed that there will always be more land over the horizon, so sustainable cultivation and conservation are often viewed as namby-pamby...maybe that's why a lot of north americans feel that the whole world has to be tamed and brought under control, while europeans, having more or less achieved that control in their own lands, feel a duty to nurture and manage rather than simply subdue." (page 44)

--

"[professor of communication george gerbner] claimed that the people who watch a lot of TV begin to live their lives as if the TV reality were an accurate reflection of the world outside. after a while the TV reality takes precedence over the 'real' world...as a dangerous place, full of crime, suspicious characters, and double-dealing--with an inordinate portion of the population devoted to law enforcement...this skewed picture of the world, according to gerber, eventually becomes a self-fufilling prophecy." (page 196)

--

"[enrique] penalosa tends to link equality, in all its forms, with democracy--a connection that is anathema to many in the united states. in his words, 'in developing-world cities, the majority of people don't have cars, so i will say, when you construct a good sidewalk, you are constructing democracy. a sidewalk is a symbol of equality...if democracy is to prevail, public good must prevail over our private interests...since we took these steps [in bogota] we've seen a reduction in crime and a change in attitude toward the city.' i can see why. when there are constantly people on the streets the streets are automatically made safer. the late jane jacobs made a big point of this in her book the life and death of great american cities. in healthy neighborhoods people watch out for one another. being in a car may feel safer, but when everyone drives it actually makes a city less safe." (p. 285)
chouchoot: (tragedy)
excerpts from the collection of poetry i just finished by richard siken:

this is where he trots out his sadness. little black
cloud, little black umbrella

"unfinished duet"

--

i'm bleeding, i'm not just making conversation.
there's smashed glass glittering everywhere like stars. it's a western,
henry. it's a downright shoot-em-up. we've made a graveyard
out of the bone white afternoon

"wishbone"

--
your name like
a song I sing to myself, your name like a box
where I keep my love, your name like a nest
in the tree of love, your name like a boat in the
sea of love — O now we’re in the sea of love!
Your name like detergent in the washing machine.
Your name like two X’s like punched-in eyes,
like a drunk cartoon passed out in the gutter,
your name with two X’s to mark the spots,
to hold the place, to keep the treasure from
becoming ever lost. I’m saying your name
in the grocery store, I’m saying your name on
the bridge at dawn. Your name like an animal
covered with frost, your name like a music that’s
been transposed, a suit of fur, a coat of mud,
a kick in the pants, a lungful of glass, the sails
in wind and the slap of waves on the hull
of a boat that’s sinking to the sound of mermaids

"saying your names"

--

You are playing cards with three Jeffs. One is your father, one is your
brother, and the other is your current boyfriend. All of them have seen
you naked and heard you talking in your sleep. Your boyfriend Jeff gets
up to answer the phone. To them he is a mirror, but to you he is a room.
Phone's for you, Jeff says. Hey! It's Uncle Jeff, who isn't really your
uncle, but you can't talk right now, one of the Jeffs has put his tongue
in your mouth. Please let it be the right one.

"you are jeff"

so far

Oct. 5th, 2010 01:10 pm
chouchoot: (purple fringe)
2010 booklist:

1) the kite runner - khaled hosseini
2) beautiful losers - leonard cohen
3) source - mark doty
4) the corrections - jonathan franzen
5) the tao of pooh - benjamin hoff
6) gods and foolish grandeur - stephen o'donnell
7) gender outlaw - kate bornstein
8) on photography - susan sontag
9) dear future me: hopes, fears, secrets, resolutions - matt sly (ed)
10) the average american male - chad kultgen
11) moon palace - paul auster
12) the art of racing in the rain - garth stein
13) a child called "it" - dave pelzer
14) the omnivore's dilemma - michael pollan
15) everything is illuminated - jonathan safran foer*
16) bicycle diaries - david byne*
17) crush - richard silken*

PUT DOWN
stubborn twig - lauren kiessler
what is the what - dave eggers

*currently reading

--

always accepting book recommendations. of this list, i know i owe thanks to [livejournal.com profile] diffuse, [livejournal.com profile] petit_chou, and possibly [livejournal.com profile] verybadhorse (if crush came from you). MOAR BOOKS PLZ
chouchoot: (skullmoon)
finished the corrections, all 567 pages of it, in less time (a month? weeks?) than books of half its size. this is a testament to everything about it. now, the act of going back through to dog-eared pages, rereading through swiftly to find the passage that called out to me, before i knew where the story was going or how it ended, and marking it with underline in pen.

more book recommendations, please?
chouchoot: (ferris wheel)


title: HOWL
director: jeffrey friedman and rob epstein
category: world premiere, U.S. dramatic competition
rating: 4 out 5 stars


i saw the best mind's of my generation, hard at work at what was intended to be a documentary. but jeffrey friedman and rob epstein realized that what they were envisioning could not be best told in just that format: it needed color, action, youth. with that, HOWL transformed, from a primarily educational film exploration of the 1957 obscenity trial in san francisco, to a rounded biopic with various threads intertwined.

a young allen ginsberg is played by james franco, visually replicating interviews and scenes from ginsberg's early years, mastering the curled gravel growl, the audible sound of smiles, the deliberation so essential to ginsberg's delivery. these scenes make up about one third of the film, spliced between scenes of reading from the poem "HOWL" (which is, i believe, read in its entirety throughout the film) as well as verbatim courtroom scenes re-enacted from transcripts. in some ways, it is hard to believe that 50 years ago the supreme court was fighting over whether poetry had to have merit to be considered literature (and thus, be considered not obscene); in other contexts, we are still fighting battles for freedom of expression, free speech, and censorship today.

HOWL's weakest link in the story-telling comes in the visuals displayed for parts of the poem. while franco's beat poet is filmed in smoky black and white, in coffee shops where he perfected his spoken word, there are a decent number (8-10?) of animated interludes that are something you'd expect out of...a whole-grain bread commercial. colorful, surreal-without-being-psychadelic, distorted male figures like an ayn rand covers, these interludes are completely distracting and disharmonious. during the Q&A session after the film, i asked filmmakers epstein and friedman what the motivation was for the animated sequences. they replied that they felt that it was important to show a young ginsberg as an integral part of setting the tone of the era. this animation, done overseas, was selected as a visual representation of parts of "HOWL" before they decided to cast and move towards a biopic and away from a documentary. it is my sincere hope that these sections are re-done before a theatrical release, but i won't hold my breath.

over the last decade i've realized a freeing truth: i'm not a fan of the beat poets. but i am a huge fan of biopics, and this film (animation aside) is well done and well crafted, giving both cultural and historical context, and bringing to the screen significant moments in our cultural timeline.

on spring

Feb. 12th, 2010 12:00 pm
chouchoot: (ferris wheel)
in montreal, the cafes, like a bed of tulip bulbs, sprout from their cellars in a display of awnings and chairs. in montreal, spring is like an autopsy. everyone wants to see the inside of the frozen mammoth. girls rip off their sleeves and the flesh is sweet and white, like wood under green bark. from the streets a sexual manifesto rises like an inflating tire, "the winter has not killed us again!"

beautiful losers, leonard cohen, p. 229
chouchoot: (want a little drinkie)
OK, who recommended the kite runner to me? you're on probation.

when the novel wasn't sad (and when it was sad, it was, i admit, moving), it was cliche and mediocre. i didn't put it down at 50 pages (my usual cap) because the beginning section was interesting, but the author lost all ability to tell a unique story once he had achieved 150 pages of inertia. god, what a waste of time.

(is there any worse mile-marker of a writer trying too hard, than when he makes his protagonist A Writer?)

i now want to choose my second book from my unread shelves very carefully. the strongest candidates: blind assassin, what is the what, only revolutions, the corrections. though these are mostly epically long...i might have to blow through something i've read already before i start in on something too ambitious.

book recommendations?

march

Jan. 14th, 2010 02:34 pm
chouchoot: (Default)
in march, my trip to austin TX coincides with SXSW. i figured i might as well apply to volunteer for SXSW: i saw the words "music badge" perk and my reasonable brain stopped working. i'm not 100% sure i'll even accept if i get in (i mean, hello, won't it be HOT in march? as if i'm gonna wanna stand outside in 90 degree weather!), but it's worth a try.

--

on the topic of SXSW, last month i read twitterville (my boss bought it for me), from which i learned that the launch of twitter actually occurred at SXSW. there was one chapter devoted to SXSW's twitter launch back in, i think, 2005. the book describes a particular evening where hundreds of new-to-twitter users were walking towards a party in downtown austin, during which a tweet went live saying the party sucked, and literally, all users stopped in their tracks to regroup, like a synchronized dance. the creators of twitter--and users, for that matter--realized in that moment that something special had happened.

it took me a while to appreciate twitter, but i'm now really comfortable with the format and what i use it for. locally, it's been really helpful for finding out about events, or killing 4 minutes waiting for a bus or train. it's a depository for all my random one-off sentences that i think (biking and showering, i swear, are my best 140-characters-of-greatness time, no idea why). i think it's going to be a really effective tool for me to use at sundance: a real-time way of finding out about after-parties, events, secret shows, etc. hell, maybe if i'd had an iphone last year, i wouldn't have missed david bowie. but we'll see how it goes.

to that end: follow me on twitter here.

on love

Jan. 9th, 2010 12:43 pm
chouchoot: (tragedy)
my yoga instructor reads from poetry collections during the end of savasana. i thought one particularly beautiful, so i found it on the interwebs. here it is.

I have been in love more times than one,
thank the Lord. Sometimes it was lasting
whether active or not. Sometimes
it was all but ephemeral, maybe only
an afternoon, but not less real for that.
They stay in my mind, these beautiful people,
or anyway people beautiful to me, of which
there are so many. You, and you, and you,
whom I had the fortune to meet, or maybe
missed. Love, love, love, it was the
core of my life, from which, of course, comes
the word for the heart. And, oh, have I mentioned
that some of them were men and some were women
and some-- now carry my revelation with you--
were trees. Or places. Or music flying above
the names of their makers. Or clouds, or the sun
which was the first, and the best, the most
loyal for certain, who looked so faithfully into
my eyes, every morning. So I imagine
such love of the world-- its fervency, its shining,
its innocence and hunger to give of itself--I imagine
this is how it began.


mary oliver, "on love"
chouchoot: (back)
2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2003 | 2002

top 3 concerts/shows of 2009:
1. cocorosie @ aladdin
2. patrick wolf @ WUK
3. sundance celebration of music @ sundance house
honorable mention: m. ward @ aladdin

top 3 songs of 2009:
1. big pink - velvet
2. edwarde sharpe & the magnetic zeroes - home
3. tie: lily allen - not fair; cold cave - love comes close

top 3 albums of 2009:
1. dark was the night
2. the horrors - primary colours
3. tie: edwarde sharpe & the magnetic zeroes - up from below; the raveonettes - in and out of control

top 5 films of 2009:
(not counting SFF, i saw 3 films in the theatre this year--watchmen, the new star trek, and where the wild things are--so this is going to be a list of my favorite 5 films that i "saw" in 2009)
1. push (currently released as precious)
2. head-on
3. where the wild things are
4. let the right one in
5. branagh's as you like it

top 3 obsessions of 2009:
1. all things carny. circus school & aerial acrobatics, freak show history, sideshow banners, LOVE, coney island, aerialists, you name it.
2. reconnection
3. la plantation du paon

3 "good things" of 2009:
1. tie: la plantation du paon, my job
2. travel destinations (10 of 'em), traveling visitors to portland (11+ of you!)
3. starting up yoga, circus school; cycling regularly
honorable mention: turning thirty

3 "bad things" of 2008:
1. spilling water on my laptop
2. missing my flight in amsterdam
3. swine flu
honorable mention: 100 proof

trips of 2009:
1) park city UT
2) san franny CA (x2)
3) seattle WA (x2)
4) vegas NV
5) demiworldtour (orlando, london, amsterdam, vienna, prague, nyc)

2009 booklist:
1) three cups of tea - greg mortenson and david oliver relin
2) the sexual politics of meat - carol j. adams
3) how we are hungry - dave eggers
4) a room of one's own - virginia woolf
5) hot water music - charles bukowski
6) the road - cormac mccarthy*
7) becoming a man - paul monette
8) virgin suicides - jeffrey eugenides*
9) listen up: voices from the next feminist generation - barbara findlen*
10) the catcher in the rye - j.d. salinger
11) cunt: a declaration of independence - inga muscio
12) the people look like flowers at last - charles bukowski
13) de profundis - oscar wilde
14) lullaby - chuck palahniuk
15) nerve: literate smut - genevieve field and rufus griscom (ed)
16) portland noir - kevin sampsell (ed)
17) rubyfruit jungle - rita mae brown
18) the missouri review: haunted
19) just as i thought - grace paley*
20) the whalestoe letters - mark z. danielewski
21) into perfect spheres such holes are pierced - catherine barnett*
22) martin and john - dale peck*
23) second nature: a gardener's education - michael pollan
24) oh my goth! version 2.0 - voltaire
25) spy in the house of love - anais nin*
26) by a slow river - phillippe claudel
27) school of arts - mark doty
28) look both ways: bisexual politics - jennifer baumgardner*
29) the secret history - donna tartt*
30) the death of bunny munro - nick cave
31) twitterville - shel israel
32) the b book - brian randall
*favorites

unfinished:
collected poems - dylan thomas
the filth - grant morrison, chris weston, gary erskine
temperament - stuart isacoff
chouchoot: (paon)
i finished the secret history, all 592 pages of it, in less than 3 weeks. upon completion, i was both moved by its beauty, and desperately, uncontrollably sad.

"In the second week of April everyone waited anxiously to see if the weather would hold. It did, with serene assurance. Hyacinth and daffodil bloomed in the flower beds, violet and periwinkle in the meadows; damp, bedraggled white butterflies fluttered drunkenly in the hedgerows. I put away my winter coat and overshoes and walked around, nearly light-headed with joy, in my shirt-sleeves."
chouchoot: (Default)
2009 booklist:

1) three cups of tea - greg mortenson and david oliver relin
2) the sexual politics of meat - carol j. adams
3) how we are hungry - dave eggers
4) a room of one's own - virginia woolf
5) hot water music - charles bukowski
6) the road - cormac mccarthy
7) becoming a man - paul monette
8) virgin suicides - jeffrey eugenides
9) listen up: voices from the next feminist generation - barbara findlen
10) the catcher in the rye - j.d. salinger
11) cunt: a declaration of independence - inga muscio
12) the people look like flowers at last - charles bukowski
13) de profundis - oscar wilde
14) lullaby - chuck palahniuk
15) nerve: literate smut - genevieve field and rufus griscom (ed)
16) portland noir - kevin sampsell (ed)

unfinished:
collected poems - dylan thomas
the filth - grant morrison, chris weston, gary erskine

booktalk

Mar. 19th, 2009 10:40 am
chouchoot: (blue)
ok, who has read the road by cormac mccarthy? i started it yesterday and it is very likely i'll be finishing it today, and woah.
chouchoot: (velo)
another year, another tradition of media and miscellany. late as heck but better than not at all.
Read more... )

shifts

Jan. 15th, 2009 12:17 am
chouchoot: (want a little drinkie)
there is a lorrie moore story that has two or three pages of laughter. it's written like HA! but like, a ton of them.
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

this is what i have to say in response to the thought that my position at the sundance film festival was going to be "boring."

--
livejournal, i have so much to tell you.
chouchoot: (me)
it's insanely early and i'm at the airport, waiting to fly out for milwaukee. the gates/employees don't really begin to operate until 4am (i got here at 3:20am)--let that be my reminder for next time that the "2-hour rule" doesn't apply to the wee 'ours of morn.

i had an awesome cabbie on the way here.

things i like about PDX:
-they are playing oasis in the foodie area
-free wi-fi
-the bathroom toilets have water-saver up/down levers for solid or liquid waste
-pretty (comparatively speaking)

i realize i haven't flown in almost exactly one year. which is insane. 5 days from now is the anniversary of flying to portland to get our place. jesus.

i just finished you shall know our velocity by dave eggers, which was beautiful, but it's so strange to have spent 300+ pages/many hours reading the adventures of two men traveling, whimsically, day by day, airport by airport, with little-to no-notice...only to be engaging in a similar whimsy myself by booking this flight yesterday. i haven't even booked my return flight yet, which is about the most open-ended i've ever been in my travels. if only i had a large sum of money to disperse in WI.
chouchoot: (i heart oregon)
vladimir nabokov lived in oregon!?

"Nabokov wrote his novel Lolita while traveling on butterfly-collection trips in the western United States. (Nabokov never learned to drive, Vera acted as chauffeur; when VN attempted to burn unfinished drafts of Lolita, it was Vera who stopped him. He called her the best-humored woman he had ever known.) [3] In June 1953 he and his family came to Ashland, Oregon, renting a house on Meade Street from Professor Taylor, head of the Southern Oregon College Department of Social Science. There he finished Lolita and began writing the novel Pnin. He roamed the nearby mountains looking for butterflies, and wrote a poem Lines Written in Oregon."

must.go.

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